Blessed

I look at Lana and always think "how did I get to be so blessed with this perfect child." I wonder if all mom's think that and really realize how blessed they are. I have several friends that have had miscarriages or struggled to have a baby or have seen that struggle. They know that loss, hurt and emptiness. I know they get it.

Yet there are others that seem to take having a baby as no big deal. I have several friends that are having babies that seem to take it for granted. I dont know what it is, but it bothers me sometimes.

As Lana took a short nap in my arms last night I thought of what a perfect and happy baby she is. This peaceful and happy baby was short lived because right after I put her down we went into a full-out tantrum for at least an hour! Nothing would calm her down. Even in this middle of this complete baby breakdown, I was happy and at complete peace. I was exhausted, but would not change anything. Everything is worth it for that one smile, one grasp of your finger, one stroke of her hand on my face. It is worth it. The pain, frustration, wonder, lack of sleep, it is all worth it. Jayson and I get to have this front row seat to her life and I realize I am the lucky one. I wonder how can life get any better?

I wonder if all parent's know how blessed they are? I am thankful that I have several very strong women in my life that I know, that they know, how blessed they are.