Three years

It is hard to believe it has been 3 years since my brother broke his neck and injured his spinal cord. He was giving a 50% chance of living through this night 3 years ago. I can remember every detail from that night.

I remember Jayson and I pulling up as mom and dad ran out of the house. I remember getting to the hospital and getting him registered since mom and dad could not. I remember first seeing the helicoptor arrive and him being wheeled out with his gear on and saying to me "Breanne, I can't feel anything, I can't move." I remember his face so swollen from all the medicine and him in the traction. I remember dad breaking down and repeating "God, don't take my son, my boy. I love him so much". I remember the waiting room FILLED with people. I wish he could have seen that emergency waiting room. I really wish I had a picture of the people he had touched in one way or another that was there for him that night.

We were told that there was a very slim to none chance of him even being able to move from his chest down. We never told brother that and he always believed in himself even when the doctors and nurses did not. Think of how hard it is to have that kind of faith in oneself. I can't begin to imagine.

In one word, my brother is AMAZING. He is working today, but will leave on Wednesday to go ride mountain bikes in Colorado. I know he thanks us for helping him through it, but he is the one did it. He did it himself. He pushed himself when he wanted to give up. We were the ones that got to watch and witness his strength every day. He is, without a doubt, the person I look up to for strength and perservearance. I can only wish I had as much drive and determination as him. I don't know another that can come close to comparison.

My life and outlook on life has changed so much in the past three years. I remember the day after his accident, pacing on our street, crying hysterically so that grandma would not hear me. I did not think I was going to make it. I was ready to give up. Life happens and God has a plan. So much has changed in the past three years.

I know that there are some people that really don't like me over some stuff that happened while he was in the hospital. I even saw a couple of them this past weekend at our family reunion. I don't regret anything I did or said while going through that. I was there for my brother and my brother only. Everytime I see these certain people, I have a really hard time. It is like all those memories come flashing back at lightening speed and I have a difficult time dealing with them coming at me that fast. I get the memories coming at me along with dealing with the hurt they caused me and my family.

I will never give up and will continue to do my best to live each moment. Our family has grown so much closer and we have all learned what it really means to not take things for granted. It took only seconds for our life to change forever. I say this constantly, but I really do have an amazing family.