Anxious

I had another round of blood work last Friday and got the results yesterday. 
HCG:144
Progestrone: 25.6

My HCG was supossed to double and it almost trippled, so that is great!  I have my 1st doctors appt next Monday.  I will get to schedule an ultrasound then.  It should be around the end of the month. 

I thought that maybe the second time around I would be less anxious, but that is not the case.  I am so excited, but I know that I am keeping myself from getting too attached.  I don't know how to say it, but I guess once you have a misscarriage and are so close with others that have had that same experience, you know all too well how easy it can be taken away from you.  I just don't think it is the best for us to tell everyone so soon especially before we have had a doctor's appt.  We did not tell our parents until after the ultrasounds with Lana and then friends and extended family at the end of the 1st trimester.  I held off from telling work until almost 4 months pregnant.  We will probably follow that time line this time around too.  The risk of miscarriage drops significantly after the 1st trimester, so that is why we waited to tell friends and extended family then.  For me it would be harder to un-tell the news than just wait a while to tell people.  Although, I am pretty sure I still want to shout it from a moutain top because I am so excited!! 

I am a little nervous for this weekend.  We have the OU Cheer Alumni game.  We get to "cheer" at the game and hang-out all weekend!  This is such a fun weekend, but I know these girls too well and they will know that something is up when I don't want to stunt.  How am I going hide this?  I have a really good friend that told everyone yesterday that she was pregnant and will be at the practice and game.  She is due just 2 weeks before me.  It is not that I am not excited, I am just not comfortable with EVERYONE knowing right now.  I will probably have Lana with me so hopefully that will be my distraction of not wanting to stunt and hopefully that will work!